Why I Love Having Tourette’s

There are so many positive aspects to having Tourette’s, it’s hard to know where to begin. But I think I’ll start where I am usually: the centre of attention. Every day, and wherever I go, I turn heads. Whether it’s because I’ve just called a stranger a wanker or whether it’s because I can’t stop smashing my head against a wall, Tourette’s comes up with all sorts of creative ways to make me the centre of attention. Every day, I get stared at, laughed at and frowned at, and I just love it.

If being the centre of attention is the best thing about Tourette’s, then a close second has to be the comedy. To be honest, my Tourette’s is funnier than I am, and that’s quite an achievement, because I am hilarious. Sometimes, all I have to do is tell people I have Tourette’s and they laugh because everyone knows what a light and breezy thing it is. Mundane tasks like cooking become side-splittingly funny when I can’t stop throwing the ingredients all over the place. Shouting out the letters I have in Scrabble always jazzes up a game, as does telling strangers that they’re fuckfaces and I hate them, even when they’re not really fuckfaces, and I do not really hate them. In these instances, I feel so blessed to have Tourette’s, because let’s face it, there really isn’t a more hilarious disability.

There’s also this other upside many people don’t really know about. Basically, I can say anything I want. I can use all the profanity in the world and people can’t get mad at me, because all I have to say is that was my Tourette’s, even when it wasn’t! This is awesome, and every day I make sure to throw in a couple of fake swearing tics, just because I love offending people.

I almost forgot to mention how awesome it is that my tics change almost constantly. One day, I’ve got blurry vision from the tics in my eyes, the next my voice is hoarse from all the shouting, and the next I can’t even walk from A to B. Tourette’s is so spontaneous and that’s how I like to be too: spur of the moment and wildly unpredictable. I just love not being able to tell which tic is going to hit me next. It makes life more interesting.

Of course, some tics do cause pain. After all, it is very painful to be repeatedly punching walls, and a little tiring to be trapped in a body which will won’t stop moving. Many people would see these things as downsides. However, I like to look on the bright side: I burn so many calories through my tics that I basically don’t have to go to the gym, and, although repeatedly punching walls might hurt, pain builds character.