9 Things People Ask When I Tell Them I Have Tourette’s
What’s that? People ask me this so often it’s a wonder why I haven’t memorised a paragraph explaining what Tourette’s is. Anyway, Tourette’s Syndrome, or, for the acronym-prone amongst us, TS, is a neurological condition which causes those with it to experience tics – involuntary rapid movements (called motor tics), and involuntary sounds, words, and sentences (called vocal tics). Tics can be painful, embarrassing, or, more often than not, just a total pain in the arse
How does your Tourette’s manifest? Tics change all the time, and everyone’s Tourette’s is different, but right now my motor tics include head nodding, eye rolling, eye scrunching, eye shutting, eye darting, cheek slapping, head hitting, tongue sticking, air blowing, head jerking, head banging, finger flicking, hand punching, bird flipping, jazz handing, stomach clenching, knee buckling, leg twisting, feet twisting, and feet kicking. In addition, I also experience echopraxia: the compulsion to imitate the movements and gestures of others.
As for my vocal tics, they include grunting, whistling, clicking, “lemon”, “lemons”, “lemongrass”, “you’re a fuckface and I hate you”, “you’re so weird” “you’re a *insert literally any expletive here*”, “you’re a *insert literally any random word here*”, “you’re so weird”, “come on”, “you’re walking too slowly”, “move” and “hey”. In addition, I experience echolalia: the compulsion to repeat what has just been said, palilalia: the compulsion to repeat what I’ve just said, and klazomania: the compulsion to shout.
When did you get it? Normally people get Tourette’s age six or seven, but I developed it at the grand old age of twenty-one. My first tics were clacking my jaw and screwing up my eyes. In the year that followed, the symptoms got progressively worse. Eventually, I was swearing which was when I knew for sure that I had Tourette’s.
How do people get even Tourette’s? Tourette’s is this complicated neurological thing which no really understands yet. It’s got something to do with dopamine and the basal ganglia, the thalamus and frontal cortex parts of the brain. It is linked to conditions like OCD, ADHD, and Autism Spectrum Disorder, and is genetic.
Is there a treatment? Yes, but there is no cure, just some medications and therapies which can alleviate some of the symptoms. However, the medicines used are basically second-hand, as they are really intended for schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders. Unfortunately, these drugs come with a lot of side effects, and so for many people with Tourette’s, they just aren’t worth it. That said, for some people they work really well. It’s all a bit of a guessing game.
What’s the worst things you’ve ever said or done? Just a load of c-words really, but during my final year of university I had a Spanish oral exam during which I could’t stop blowing my examiners kisses. It was pretty awkward.
Do you ever say anything rude, and just pretend it’s a tic to get away with it? I get this one a lot, and the answer is no, no I don’t.
Really? Seriously? You’re not fucking with me? You actually have Tourette’s? If I am going through a quiet patch, this is the normal reaction. Or else, they’ll ask me if I have really mild Tourette’s (which I don’t). Many people don’t know that Tourette’s is a condition that waxes and wanes. People with it can go through months where their tics are so severe they are disabling, and months were their tics are so mild you can barely notice them.
Haha. This is frustrating response, given that I’ve just told you about my disability and not cracked one of my many brilliant jokes. Yes, some of my tics are funny, and yes, in those situations, it’d be weird not to chuckle. But if I haven’t ticced anything amusing, if I’ve literally just told you about my Tourette’s, then please don’t laugh. Wait for a good tic to laugh. It won’t be long, I promise. Think about it, if I just told you I had dyslexia or autism, would your immediate response be to laugh? No. Because these things aren’t funny, and neither is Tourette’s.